super overdue

Today, after 7 months of debating with myself, I finally struck up the nerve to text back a guy I've been wanting to meet up with since our intial encounter back in October. We'd exchanged phone numbers. For various reasons I abstained from calling him. I thought he'd call me first, but he never did. I got the impression that he wasn't into me. Additionally, he'd been dating another guy around the time that happened and I felt bad for intervening.

Like me, he gets a lot of attention from guys and isn't used to getting rejected. He seems to have a pretty big ego. I felt that if i'd followed through and called him back, i'd just be stroking his ego and doing the same thing that other guys who want to be with him. But in using this tactic, I not only didn't get what I wanted, but he seemed to have been hurt by it. .

Everytime I ran into him he gave me a "why didn't you call me" kind of look. Other complications arose soon after. A friend of his became an enemy of mine, and so i didn't want to complicate things further. For a while I didn't think of him much; I was dating a guy for much of january and february and early march. But gradually, I began to realize that I should of done something about this guy. I was hoping to just run into him on accident. That rarely happened, and when it did, he was with other people. But today after a slight mental breakdown I had last night, I mustered up the courage to finally send him a very belated text message asking him if he wanted to hangout/go for coffee etc. He appreciated this, but told me "I don't really see you in that way". it took me a while to understand what he meant by this. The conclusion that I came to was that i'd just waited too long and he'd gotten over it.

Well, I'm not over it. Not pursuing him is one of the worst decisions I've ever made.